


HOW TO: Befriend Your Next-Door Neighbor

by snapchat (orphan_account)



Category: Produce 101 (TV), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Epistolary, M/M, Neighbors, Post-it Notes, Unconventional Format, this fic is not that kind of fic, wanted 2 tag it with 'hand written notes' but ao3 autocompleted 2 'hand jobs'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 06:36:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20484485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/snapchat
Summary: A six-step guide.*(*Success is not guaranteed!)





	HOW TO: Befriend Your Next-Door Neighbor

**Author's Note:**

> i wanted to write something small to warm-up and then this happened and it had to be seungseok bc otherwise it didn't make sense. not beta'd! teen and up bc there's cursing and some alcohol mentions!

_ **STEP ONE: Leave a note on their door!** _

Dear Apartment 601,

It’s unfortunate I can’t put a face to the apartment number, so excuse me for speaking vaguely (I don’t want to assume your identity or anything). Are you new here? Welcome to the building, if you are. 

To put it loosely—ARE YOU KIDDING ME. Please learn to separate your recyclables from the rest of your trash. The landlord is under the impression that I’m the idiot who doesn’t know how to read pictures and his attempt at knocking on your door to yell at you (because we both know it’s you) was futile.

Have a wonderful day. Remember that the bottle-shaped picture with the words “PLASTIC BOTTLE” under it means exactly what you think. 

Recycle.

Your.

PLASTIC.

BOTTLES. 

Sincerely,  
Apartment 603

**⁕⁕⁕**

dear apartment 603, 

are you 40+ years old?

yours truly,  
wrongfully framed and bitter about it 

**⁕⁕⁕**

Dear Culprit,

I’m 24? 

Sincerely,  
Actually Wrongfully Framed and Bitter About It

**⁕⁕⁕**

dear asshat,

ok good just wanted to make sure i wasn’t fighting with an elder. anyway. 

do u have a stick up ur ass or WHAT. i don’t even drink out of plastic bottles!!!!! the entire world is setting itself on fire bc of plastic don’t be insensitive!!!!!!!!!! there are six other people on this floor u could be leaving passive aggressive notes for! this is a hate crime! i know i’m unfairly handsome but u don’t have to be jealous just bc u probably look like shrek!!!!!!!

seriously i don’t drink out of plastic bottles so ur pointing fingers at the wrong guy. 

heartbroken and bitter,  
cho seungyoun, a victim 

**⁕⁕⁕**

Dear Cho Seungyoun, 

The landlord literally saw someone come out of your apartment? With an armful of plastic bottles? Putting them into the trash bin? Multiple times? Over the course of a month?

Why are you bringing Shrek into this. 

Sincerely,  
Apartment 603

**⁕⁕⁕**

dear KIM WOOSEOK,

1) ur mail ended up in my mailbox so i know ur name this isn’t creepy of me. i slipped it under ur door but i was very tempted to tear into ur bank statement and maybe try to steal ur identity out of spite!  
2) oh  
3) ok i know what happened. and IT WASN’T MY FAULT. i just have very irresponsible friends (are u familiar with the concept?) who don’t know how to recycle bottles it’s not my fault  
4) ok it IS MY FAULT BUT IT DIDN’T WARRANT A MEAN LETTER I DON’T EVEN KNOW U!!!!!

still a little bitter,  
seungyoun 

**⁕⁕⁕**

Dear Cho Seungyoun,

You’re infuriating. Can you please tell the landlord what happened so he stops hounding me about my recycling? 

Thanks,  
Wooseok

**⁕⁕⁕**

oh my b man i didn’t know he was still on ur case lol

\- seungyoun

* * *

_ **STEP TWO: Don’t forget to smile!** _

hi wooseok,

not to be that guy but i think u accidentally rang my doorbell like haha idk fifty times? while making out with someone at like 3 in the morning which is cool………….. love is love…………………. go off king……… but maybe love should be a little quieter at 3 am??? 

from,  
seungyoun but with dark circles 

**⁕⁕⁕**

Hi Seungyoun,

I have no idea what you’re talking about. 

Sincerely,  
Wooseok

**⁕⁕⁕**

STOP PLAYING DUMB I HEARD TALL DARK AND HANDSOME SAY UR NAME 

\- seungyoun

**⁕⁕⁕**

Why were you watching us? 

Wooseok

**⁕⁕⁕**

i……… ok. when ur doorbell rings five thousand times at an ungodly hour u cant help but wonder what the fuck is up! i couldn’t even see anything thru the intercom i just saw ur bae’s backside and unfortunately heard a lot of wet smacking noises. disgusting btw, not disney at all. this is a family apartment building, u know? think of the CHILDREN. 

(think of ME!!!! I AM THE CHILDREN) 

scarred for life,  
seungyoun 

**⁕⁕⁕**

Seungyoun, do you know what voyeurism is? 

Sincerely,  
Wooseok

**⁕⁕⁕**

:)))))))))))))))))))) i :)))))))))))))))))))))))) will fight u 1v1. it’s on sight. idk what u look like but the second i find out…………….. ur ass! grass!

sincerely,  
ur new mortal enemy

**⁕⁕⁕**

:)

xo Wooseok

* * *

_ **STEP THREE: Try to find a common interest!** _

Did you steal my fried chicken? 

Wooseok

**⁕⁕⁕**

oh shit ok yes maybe SORRY i was wondering why it came plain when i could have sworn i ordered it marinated 

**⁕⁕⁕**

ㅗㅗㅗㅗㅗㅗㅗㅗㅗㅗㅗㅗ  
Original fried chicken is the best. You ruined my dinner last night. 

**⁕⁕⁕**

lol my b dude but all food is good food. i’ll treat u to the best jjajangmyeon in the world in penance someday

\- seungyoun

**⁕⁕⁕**

I prefer jjamppong. 

Wooseok

**⁕⁕⁕**

wtf next thing i know ur going to say u like chicken feet bone-in 

\- seungyoun

**⁕⁕⁕**

??????? Bone-in is literally the only way to eat it???????

Wooseok

**⁕⁕⁕**

do we have anything in common? inquiring minds would like to know

\- seungyoun

**⁕⁕⁕**

No. Opposites attract?

Wooseok

**⁕⁕⁕**

u hate me tho  
\- seungyoun

**⁕⁕⁕**

Eh. 

* * *

_ **STEP FOUR: Find a common… enemy?** _

hey i don’t have an issue w/ it or anything but u know voices travel rly well down this hall so i (and possibly others) may or may not have heard ur entire phone convo with bae (? pls confirm)

or uh… i guess Ex-Bae. 

\- seungyoun

**⁕⁕⁕**

Seungyoun,

Thanks for letting me know. Also, feel like this might be a recurring theme, but I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m not in a relationship and I was on the phone with my dad.

Wooseok

**⁕⁕⁕**

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ok. makes sense why u called him Dad, instead of. hah ok YEAAAA.

anyway. seemed like a rough phone call! hope it’s all Gucci 

\- seungyoun  
p.s. what happened to tall dark and handsome 

**⁕⁕⁕**

I have no idea how your brain operates. I’m fine. I wasn’t ever dating “tall, dark, and handsome” either. We went on one date and I deleted his number. Why do you care?

**⁕⁕⁕**

wow man has anyone ever told you you’re like a turtle??? chill out. i just wanted to make sure u were good. 

**⁕⁕⁕**

Sorry.

**⁕⁕⁕**

HEY APARTMENT 603, JUST TO CLARIFY ARE YOU SINGLE??? I’M GETTING REALLY TIRED OF THE WAY SEUNGYOUN HYUNG GIGGLES AND/OR SIGHS LONGINGLY WHENEVER HE SEES A POST-IT NOTE ON OUR DOOR SO IF YOU COULD HELP A BROTHER OUT AND DROP YOUR DIGITS, I’D LOVE TO MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN. HOPEFULLY YOU AREN’T AS DENSE AS MY ROOMMATE. SINCERELY, A TIRED ROOMMATE (BTW HAVE YOU GUYS EVER HEARD OF TEXTING?)

**⁕⁕⁕**

dear wooseok, whatever my roommate said in his note to you is a LIE! I DON’T KNOW WHAT HE SAID BUT IT’S! A!!! LIE!!!!! LEE HANGYUL HAS NEVER TOLD THE TRUTH IN HIS LIFE!!!!!!!! fuck i’m seriously sorry if he said anything mean or rude or worse tried to hit on u idk, the youths are scary these days and i live every day in fear of what he’ll try to microwave next. 

**⁕⁕⁕**

He didn’t say anything rude. It was clarifying.  
:)

**⁕⁕⁕**

ok…………… 

anyway…. i got to the bottom of the Recycling Fiasco btw and found out it was him. ordinarily i would try to defend him by explaining that his eyesight’s rly bad and he probably couldn’t read the recycling signs but as payback for trying to sabotage our blossoming friendship, i will instead tell u that his poor recycling habits are CLEARLY indication that he hates mother nature 

join forces w/ me against lee hangyul 

ur neighbor in arms,  
seungyoun

**⁕⁕⁕**

Hard to say no to that. Tell him to watch his back.

Wooseok 

* * *

_ **STEP FIVE: Compliment them!** _

dear wooseok,

there was a really hot guy outside our building last night who was rly drunk? i helped him up the stairs (can u believe we still don’t have a functional elevator lol) and somehow he knew the passcode to ur apartment…. 

uh…………… yeah…………….. is he ur roommate? 

(do u know what his name is? if he has a phone? Maybe a number attached 2 the phone?)

help a homie out!

love,  
seungyoun 

**⁕⁕⁕**

Sorry about that. 

**⁕⁕⁕**

sorry??????? about what???????? 

**⁕⁕⁕**

Had too much to drink. 

**⁕⁕⁕**

oh i have to go i don’t have service haha 

**⁕⁕⁕**

Seungyoun? This is a physically written conversation? 

Wooseok  
P.S. I can’t remember your face, but I’m sure you’re handsome too. I’m glad you don’t think I look like Shrek ♡

**⁕⁕⁕**

<strike>man fuck u why do u look like THAT</strike>  
I NEVER SAID SHREK WAS UGLY

* * *

_ **STEP SIX: Accept that some neighbors just don’t want to be your friend!** _

the mailman keeps giving me ur mail lol 

\- seungyoun 

**⁕⁕⁕**

are u alive??? have not heard a single peep from ur apartment in a small decade 

\- seungyoun

**⁕⁕⁕**

dude i just watched an entire crime scene drama and all signs point to u being murdered by a spurned lover in a final act of passion and i physically CANNOT carry on if this is what happened!!!! pls write back if ur alive 

**⁕⁕⁕**

oh my god he fuckin dead

**⁕⁕⁕**

hey wooseok, at risk of sounding like a clingy bf i don’t want to spam you with post-its but i hope you’re good? and alive? if you have decided you don’t want to exchange letters with your faceless neighbor anymore please let me know so i can rest easy knowing at the very least that you’re okay haha… 

**⁕⁕⁕**

sorry if i made u uncomfortable by uhhhhhh calling u hot haha

**⁕⁕⁕**

<strike>kinda miss you</strike>  
earth to kim wooseok??????? do i have to throw my plastic bottles in the trash to summon u or what?

**⁕⁕⁕**

To Seungyoun (?), 

I think? Hopefully Seungyoun (?) is the person who’s been leaving all of these notes. Sorry, some of them haven’t been signed off... But hey! You must be the neighbor he’s been telling me about. I actually meant to tell you sooner, but I completely forgot (my bad) (Wooseok’s going to kick my ass for forgetting).

This is Wooseok’s best friend. He’s okay and on an impromptu business trip for a week. I’m just here to water his plants, but I thought I’d let you know since you seem a little concerned! I was supposed to let you know on Monday, but, uh, haha. Funny how things work out? 

Thanks for looking out for him. He’s really fond of your notes. Maybe more!

Sincerely,  
Lee Jinhyuk 

P.S. Wooseok if you’re reading this SORRY

* * *

** _(BONUS STEP: Accept that some neighbors might want to be more!)_ **

It’s a quarter to one in the morning when Seungyoun wakes up from a Sad Nap™ and decides he should stop moping about his mysterious next-door neighbor and move on with his life. Sure, it’s only been a week—barely—since the last note he got from Wooseok, but Seungyoun isn’t positive if he’s really open to the idea of leaving a smattering of colorful post-its notes (some of which are from his now-depleted absolute favorite pad of _Nyan Cat_ sticky notes) on Wooseok’s door. Not only would it be embarrassing to have to explain why there are so _many_, but Seungyoun doesn’t want to drag his feet through the possible heartbreak of not being asked to explain at all. 

Unfortunately, luck is never on his side. 

He swings his front door open and the first thing he sees to his immediate right is not an empty space he’s grown too familiar with over the past few months, but an actual, living, breathing human being surveying the damage Seungyoun’s left behind. 

He should say something. Something _cool_. Something _rom-com_ worthy. Something—

“Oh, fuck,” Seungyoun says, the pinnacle of elegance and grace. Almost immediately, he clamps a hand over his mouth and stumbles back, hitting his own door. “Oh, shit.” 

Wooseok turns to look at him then, tearing his attention away from Seungyoun’s post-it notes to Seungyoun himself. Recognition doesn’t quite settle in his features (and Seungyoun remembers, belatedly, that they’ve only met in-person once and Wooseok was thoroughly inebriated then), but two and two seem to add up after a brief pause, because Wooseok’s lips form into a knowing circle.

“You’re Cho Seungyoun,” he says. He’s a lot shorter than Seungyoun remembers, looking all the softer with his round glasses and the bleariness in his gaze. For someone who uses proper spelling and grammar in handwritten notes, Wooseok’s all blurred edges—looks _fuzzy_ (if that’s possible), like he’s wavering in and out of consciousness. “Sorry.” 

Seungyoun swallows thickly. “Sorry?” he echoes. 

“Yeah,” Wooseok mumbles, tearing off an unfamiliar strip of filmy paper from the door. Upon second glance, Seungyoun can tell it’s an E-Mart receipt and the handwriting isn’t his _or_ Wooseok’s (or _Hangyul_’s). “My friend was supposed to tell you,” he explains, extending his hand to push the receipt into Seungyoun’s. 

It takes him about ten seconds to read through the note, and when he looks up, Seungyoun notices that Wooseok’s plucked about half of the post-its from his door and stacked them in his hand. 

“You don’t have to apologize,” Seungyoun says quickly, nervous laughter slipping out in between words. “I mean—we’re just neighbors! You don’t owe me an explanation! I’m like your friendly ghost, just here to pay rent! I, uh, haha, yeah, maybe I should be the one apologizing? For vandalizing your door? God, here, let me throw those away for you—”

Wooseok clasps his fingers over the post-its. “Are you nervous or something?” he asks, a wry, crooked smile on his lips. “I like your notes. And I’m not uncomfortable.”

“You’re not,” Seungyoun stammers out. He laughs again. Too loudly. “Okay. Cool. Sweet. _Awesome_.” He’s never nervous. One time, he had to perform the worst rendition known to mankind of the Pokemon theme song to an unenthused talent show audience in his last year of junior high. Wasn’t nervous at all. Might have _crushed_ it if puberty wasn’t sabotaging him. Yet, here he is—cowering in the presence of his next-door neighbor. “How was your business trip?” 

“Busy,” Wooseok replies. He plucks the last three of Seungyoun’s post-it notes and adds them to his little stack. “Hey, I’m kind of hungry. Don’t you owe me food for stealing my fried chicken?” 

His heart does this really ugly leaping thing that Seungyoun doesn’t think makes sense considering he’s just been called out for accidentally eating Wooseok’s delivery. The grin on his face that spreads in a matter of seconds is impossible to fight though, and for a fleeting moment, Seungyoun forgets that it’s one in the morning, he has an entire song left to mix before tomorrow, and Hangyul’s plastic bottles are probably in the wrong trash bin. 

“Is this a date?” Seungyoun teases.

Wooseok doesn’t even miss a beat. “Could be,” he says with a shrug, shooting a tiny smile—the glint in his eyes mischievous—in Seungyoun’s direction. “First date? If you buy me chicken feet, bone _in_, maybe there’ll be a second one.”

“You drive a hard bargain for someone who introduced himself by leaving a strongly worded hot pink post-it note on my door.” 

“I don’t like talking in circles,” Wooseok says, taking one, two, three steps closer until he’s just centimeters from Seungyoun, their eyes locking. He reaches up to flick a piece of lint from Seungyoun’s shoulder. 

“_I_ could be your tall, dark, and handsome,” Seungyoun jokes, and it’s a wonder his voice doesn’t crack with how hard it is to breathe. He almost chokes when Wooseok turns, bypasses Seungyoun to take a step into Seungyoun’s apartment, like he’s letting himself in. Thank god Hangyul isn’t home. 

It gets easier over time to manage his nerves. Wooseok isn’t half as intimidating as he seems upon first glance, and Seungyoun feels an impossible warmth at the center of his chest watching Wooseok shuffle further into his apartment, head turning left and right to examine the premises. 

“I’m hungry,” Wooseok repeats, stopping in his tracks to turn and look at Seungyoun reproachfully. “If you don’t feed me, you might not see another post-it on your door ever again.” 

Seungyoun leans his head against the entryway, biting back a smile. “Can’t have that,” he says. “I’d miss them too much.” 

* * *

hi wooseok,

enjoyed our date. next time we have to finish watching shrek! i think it was very disrespectful of u to start kissing me in the middle of the climax scene of the movie. thankfully, my mother raised me to be kind so i will forgive u if u kiss me 1000 more times in penance.

yours truly,  
cho seungyoun

**⁕⁕⁕**

Dear Apartment 601,

Sorry. I’ll be better on the second date. 

Sincerely,  
Apartment 603


End file.
